Online dating app, singles meetup, or a matchmaking service? What exactly is BACS all about?
BACS is not a singles group for the purpose of building up a singles fellowship; although we hope this is a secondary outcome. BACS exists to address the growing needs that single Christians have in their desire to get married.
Marriage is a good thing. Our society has moved away from marriage, redefining what makes a marriage, embracing sexual liberation in the form of sex with anyone outside the confines of a marriage, and also inundating singles with goals of higher education, career accomplishments, and financial goals (none of which are necessarily bad). These factors have put marriage on the backburner for many.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the median age of marriage in 2022 for men was 30.1 and for women was 28.2. But if you’ve been in the single scene in the Bay Area, including the Christian single scene, you know that there are plenty of single Christians who are not married and are well pass their mid-30s. If marriage is a good thing (” ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.’ ” Gen. 2:18), can anything be done to help single Christians get married? Could there be simple tweaks to one’s approach towards dating and marriage which can increase their chances of getting married? Are there fundamental views or character flaws that single Christians are not addressing because they are not aware of them which, if addressed, can mean the difference between being single for life or being married?
Our answer is yes. The church has been very silent in the area of dating. In many churches, a Christian’s desire to want to get married and their proactive efforts to get married are frowned upon. They are seen as discontent, not trusting God, and not putting God first. This is a flawed view which has discouraged many single Christians from taking action to get married and thereby leaving them in a state of waiting and possibly being unmarried for life. On the other hand, there are single Christians who seek the idol of marriage. They are willing to date and marry anyone, oftentimes overlooking red flags in the relationship and many times even willing to marry a non-Christian.
Our Mission
Dating for many is a series of failures, one after another. For some singles, it’s a matter of not meeting a good fit. But for many others, the failures are due to a lack of preparation. No one is ever fully prepared for marriage but could there be some things in your life which are clearly holding you back from dating, marriage, and having a great marriage?
Equipping and Connecting Bay Area Christian Singles
For Dating and Marriage
BACS exists to “Equip and Connect.”
Equip because if you met Mr. or Ms. Right today (which we DO NOT subscribe to) and you were not ready, you will squander your opportunity. For many singles, they complain about not meeting the right person. But perhaps the bigger more pressing issue is not who we haven’t met but who we have failed to become. The truth is that for many single Christians, there are deeply rooted spiritual worldview problems, life and spiritual immaturity, and unhealthy dating approaches which are keeping them from having success in dating.
We exist to connect single Christians throughout the Bay Area. You can be “ready” for marriage but if you are living in an insulated bubble with few interactions with other dateable Christians of the opposite sex, then your chances of getting married one year from now are not going to change. For some Christians, the reason they are not married is simply because they are not intentional and active in meeting other singles.
Our Vision
What is the measure of success that we use for BACS? Is it in the number of dates members get to participate? Or is it the number of marriages resulting from BACS events? Although all those are great accomplishments, our group actually does not exist solely for the purpose of dating and marriage. As should be the case with all Christian ministries, we exist for a much greater purpose.
To Bring Out The Life Transofrming Power of the Gospel Through Dating and Marriage
Missionaries travel across the globe to teach English but English teaching is not their ultimate aim. Inner-city soup kitchens serve the hungry daily but their goal is never to satisfy physical hunger. All these ministries should exist for a greater goal; to glorify God. Similarly, BACS ultimately exists not just to help singles with dating and marriage. Ultimately, we utilize the needs of singles in dating and marriage to showcase the life-transforming power of the Gospel.
Fear of rejection, dealing with actual rejection, dealing with success, taking too many risks, fearing any risk, a prideful heart, putting on humility, having patience, and many other factors in dating and marriage are overcome through the Gospel. We believe it is the transformation of believers through the indwelling Holy Spirit that is the only hope of a “successful” marriage between two sinners saved by grace. And in the process of being transformed for marriage, we believe these same sinners saved by grace will cherish and rejoice in the Good News of their salvation all the more.
So come for dating and marriage and leave with the joy of your salvation!