What makes BACS, BACS? What’s the difference between BACS and a dating app or a singles meetup? Glad you asked. Here are some Core Tenents to help you understand what we are about.

The desire for marriage is a natural desire and should be pursued.
Throughout the course of human history, marriage has been the norm in the course of life for people. This desire for marriage is a good desire (Gen. 2:18). Taking action towards marriage is a noble pursuit. Many Christians have mistaken the idea of contentment and service to God as mutually exclusive from marriage. For those who desire marriage, we hope to change the culture of the church so singles can pursue marriage.
Single or Married; in the end, we are the Lord’s.
“For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Romans 14:8). Being married or single ultimately is not what life is about. Learning contentment is more important than changing life’s circumstances (Phil. 4:11-13). We believe the ultimate goal of life is not marriage but to live for the glory of God whether single or married.
The goal of dating is not to “win a boyfriend/girlfriend” but to develop a friendship to consider a potential marriage partner.
The world’s approach towards dating is flawed because the world’s goal in dating is flawed. The world’s dating approach is to “win a boyfriend/girlfriend” by applying techniques to “peacock” one’s value bolstering their attractiveness in order to sway the other person to “fall in love” with them. But who are we winning over?
We encourage Christians to date for the purpose of developing friendships. With each friendship developed, we are better able to evaluate a suitable marriage partner. Dating the world’s way should be frowned upon and avoided. But dating with biblical principles can be healthy, protect hearts, and is much needed to find a suitable partner.
There is no perfect spouse so waiting for Mr./Ms. Right to be revealed by God is destructive and keeps singles single.
A common view of the church is that the faithful content Christian waits on God to miraculously reveal the guy/girl which God created just for one’s marriage. Charles Spurgeon is quoted saying, “The day we find the perfect church, it becomes imperfect the moment we join it.” In the same way, if we enter marriage thinking we’ve married Mr./Ms. Right, we are in for a surprise.
There is no Mr./Ms. Right. There is no “The One.” And unless your father is rich, has male servants to order around, and is named Abraham, you’ll probably need to take action in dating. The church has been flawed with an unbalanced extreme of “waiting on God” to reveal who we are to marry before we even allow a friendship to develop. As a result, we have a generation of singles who didn’t just kiss dating goodbye, but unknowingly kissed marriage goodbye.
There is no one for anyone. Everyone you date is the wrong person. But woever you end up marrying is the right person.
The idea that there is one soulmate out there for each person is a Hollywood lie that keeps people from getting married because of unrealistic expectations and paves the way for an inevitable divorce when they find out the person isn’t perfect after marriage.
Singles must embark on the dating journey understanding that a marriage is the union of sinners who say “I do.” However, when two people enter into the union of marriage, they become the right one for each other. They are right not because they are perfect compatible and the right fit for each other. They are right for each other because of all the billions of people in this world, they entered into the marriage covenant with the other promising to love each other “till death do [they] part.” This promise to love in marriage is what makes marriage work and what makes each spouse right for the other.
“Can a Christian marry a non-Christian?” is not the right question and shows that our worldview and life purpose is completely wrong.
The real question is not WHETHER a Christian marry a non-Christian. If a Christian is willing to marry a non-Christian, the Christian is suffering from one or both of these problems; 1) they do not understand what the Christian life is about, and/or 2) they are overwhelmed by the infatuation of the relationship. This in no way makes Christians more righteous or moral people, better at being husbands and wives, or guarantees Christian marriages succeed and last.
We do not believe hounding Christians to marry a non-Christian is the right approach. Every institution must be united by a common purpose. The real question for all to ask in determining who they marry is, “What is the purpose of my life?” For the Christian, the answer to that question is in many forms but they all boil down to living our lives for God. The aim of a marriage partner, therefore, is to marry someone who shares that same life purpose, pursuing God. As such, this necessarily means that whoever this person marries must be a Christian not because it is a box to be checked but a necessarily pre-requisite for someone who is living for God.
We use the word “dating” but not as the world uses it.
The word “dating” comes with much baggage since people having so many different definitions of what it means. Does BACS believe in dating or courtship? Yes, it depends on the definition of each.
Dating is the most commonly used phrase. At BACS, we define dating simply as a one-on-one interaction to develop a friendship for the purpose of evaluating whether there is potential for marriage. It is an intentional friendship but also not one taken with ulterior motives to convince the other person in a relationship.
Courtship has also been a popular term. Although there are many great principles from those who use this term, there is also a lot of baggage. A common issue with those who use the term courtship is this unrealistically high-standard required in order for a guy or girl to embark on a journey to get to know each other. Many guys and girls, but especially girls, have been living with an all-or-none approach where they must see the guy as suitable husband-material before they even take a chance at spending one-on-one time with him. This is a form of putting the cart before the horse that has led to a whole generation of singles who desire marriage but have seen their best years pass them by.
Rejection is not failure. Inaction is failure.
Men and women have been paralyzed by a fear of rejection equating rejection with failure. Christians need to redefine failure which our society defines as not getting that first kiss or second date. The definition of failure needs to be changed in order for Christians to be liberated from the fear of rejection allowing them to date with freedom and not fearing that the relationship might not materialize into marriage. This liberation will help Christians get married but also find suitable partners without feeling the need to make relationships happen.
Urgency is not necessarily desperation. Prioritizing marriage is not necessarily idolizing it.
The church has created a culture of “seeking first the Kingdom of God” and then God will bring a spouse to your doorstep. Christians have lived under the belief that spiritual endeavours are noble; the pursuit of a spouse is not spiritual nor noble. This idea of inaction in marriage being a noble quality has led to many lonely godly Christians who fell under the lie that taking action in marriage is not trusting and prioritizing God. There are certainly many who idolize marriage and whose actions are from a place of desperation.
If one pursues marriage for the right purposes, marriage should be pursued with urgency because “it is not good for man to be alone.” Urgency does not mean one is desperate and not trusting or loving God. If one were unemployed, one would prioritize finding a new job. If one were graduating form high school, one would prioritize applying for colleges. Naturally, if one were to desire marriage, one ought to prioritize marriage by taking action.
Marriage also needs to be a priority. With today’s singles dedicating their lives to higher and higher education, corporate ladder climbing, and desires for individual fulfillment, the pursuit of marriage has become passive. Singles may desire marriage but are not prioritizing it. All things being equal, if marriage is a good thing for a man and woman to enter, it is better to get married sooner than later. Singles have not prioritized marriage only to find out in their 40’s that they wish they had prioritized marriage in their 20’s.
Sure, there are times in our lives where marriage may not be pursued as a priority. However, we believe for most Christians, marriage needs to be made a higher priority.
The process of becoming a husband or wife began at childhood. The sooner we fix our problems, the better our chances of marriage and the better marriage we’ll have.
Each person comes to a marriage with flaws and baggage. Some of these are minor nuissances but others can be destructive. It is vitally important for singles to conduct an inventory of themselves to identify serious maturity issues. Whether it’s explosive anger, addiction to pornography, or a poor communication and conflict resolution skills, the time to address these issues was 10 years ago.
Too many singles spend time trying to find the perfect spouse instead of striving to become a perfect spouse (not that it’s possible but should be the goal). Further, this self-improvement cannot be done through the flesh, one’s own strength to fight their fleshly tendencies. True lasting change can come only from a life keeping in step with the Holy Spirit’s work to transform a Christian from the inside out (Gal. 5:16-26).
At BACS, we emphasize to members not just to look for a great spouse but to become a great spouse now.
Marriage is between one man and one woman.
Marriage is not defined by a social consensus or legislative derees. Marriage exists apart from man’s views. Marriage was instituted by God. By nature, it involves one man and one woman. Anything that subtracts or adds to that equation, by nature, is not marriage. The belief in this view is not unloving or intended as a deprivation for those who do not seek marriage.
This does not mean that same-sex attraction is not a desire in some. It is possible to acknowledge same-sex attractions existing in people while standing firm that marriage involves one man and one woman. All humans are created in God’s image and valuable regardless of their dispositions. The Christian view that marriage is between one man and one woman was not created to deprive certain individuals of the institute of marriage. Marriage has its own definition and to redefine it is to erode its benefit to society and to individuals.